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Morkie4
04-30-2007, 06:02 AM
I am sure those of us who have children can relate to the following and for those without children veiw it as a little warning!!!!

1. You spend the first two years of their life
teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend
the next sixteen telling them to sit down and shut up.

2. Grandchildren are God's reward
for not killing your own children.

3. Mothers of teens now know why
some animals eat their young.

4. Children seldom misquote you. In fact,
they usually repeat word for word
what you shouldn't have said.

5. The main purpose of holding children's parties
is to remind yourself that there are children
more awful than your own.

6. We childproofed our homes,
but they are still getting in.

ADVICE FOR THE DAY:

Be nice to your kids.
They will choose your
nursing home one day.

AND FINALLY:

IF YOU HAVE A LOT OF TENSION
AND YOU GET A HEADACHE,
DO WHAT IT SAYS
ON THE ASPIRIN BOTTLE:

"TAKE TWO ASPIRIN"
AND "KEEP AWAY FROM CHILDREN"!!!!

lilybellesmom
04-30-2007, 06:38 AM
LOL, Carol, that was hilarious!:lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

Here's my contribution!

There are several men in the locker room of a private club after exercising. Suddenly, a cell phone that was on one of the benches, rings. A man picks it up and here is the conversation:

"Hello?" "Honey, it's me." "Sugar!" "Are you at the club?" "Yes," "Great! I'm at the mall and I saw a beautiful mink coat. It is absolutely gorgeous! Can I buy it?" "What's the price?" "Only $1,500." "Well, go ahead and get it if you like it that much."

"And I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the 2001 models. There's one I really liked. I spoke with the salesman and he gave me a great price and since we need to exchange the BMW that we bought last year..." "What price did he quote you for?" "Only $60,000." "OK, but for that price I want all the options."

"Oh, honey, that's wonderful! Before we hang up, there's one more thing." "What is it?" "I went to see the real estate agent this morning and saw the house we had looked at last year. It's on sale!. Remember? The one with a pool, English garden, acre of parking area, beachfront property..." "How much are they asking?" "Just $450,000. It's a magnificent price and I see that we have just enough money in the bank to buy it." "Well, then go ahead and buy it, but just bid $420,000. OK?" "OK, sweetie. Thanks! I'll see you later! I love you!!" "Bye. I love you, too."

The man hangs up the phone and holds it up asking, "Does anyone know who this phone belongs to?"

Morkie4
04-30-2007, 06:41 AM
:lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:

I Found Nemo
05-01-2007, 12:39 AM
:sidesplit: :sidesplit: :sidesplit: :lol2: :lol2: :lol2:
Great ones!!!!!
Andrea:lol2:

Fluffy Love
05-05-2007, 07:47 AM
:lol2: Those were great!:lol2:

kelkiss5
05-12-2007, 08:53 AM
He He. Lol